Parents, we at Reins know that you love your kids and you work hard to grow them into
respectful, responsible young adults. Your job is rewarding but sometimes frustrating.
Here are some quick tips to create peaceful parenting:
1. Yelling? Lower your voice and kids will lower theirs.
2. Are tempers getting out of control? Take a time out for yourself and your child.
20 – 30 minutes allows the body and mind to return to a state of calm. Then try the
conversation again.
3. Discuss expectations with your child/teen when everyone is calm.
4. Say NO one time. NO means NO. If your child/teen wants to debate the issue, don’t
participate in the conversation. You are the adult. You do not have to explain or defend
your reason for saying NO.
5. Power struggles with your child/teen? Do they always need to have the last word?
Don’t engage in the conversation. Don’t argue with a child/teen, it is a waste of your time.
6. Ask yourself, “who owns this problem?” If it isn’t you, don’t try to fix it.
7. Talk less, listen more. Kids just want to be heard. Model this behavior for them and they
will learn to do the same with you.
8. Be aware of your own emotional triggers. Are you reacting or responding to your child’s emotional situation?
9. Give choices instead of open-ended questions where a refusal can occur. “Do you want the
red one or the blue one?” rather than “which one do you want?”
10. Connection before correction.
Try not to correct your child/teen when you are angry.
Connect first; sit down together, review the situation in a calm tone. Bring up one or two
things that your child did right or did well in this situation. Let them know why you need to
correct their behavior. Ask your child what they think the consequence should be – they
are often tougher on themselves than you would be and it gives them ownership of the
consequence.
CONTACT US FOR MORE INFORMATION ON PEACEFUL PARENTING.
Annette DuBois LMHC, TF-CBT and Terrie Valentine, LMHC, TF-CBT